This is a goodie but long one! Grab some tea & relish in life together with me.
I’m thrilled to share that I’m pregnant and growing a sweet divine love baby within! You knew the day would come, and after announcing online over the weekend, it seems there are a lot of people who have been happily waiting this day to arrive 😉 I’m now at about 22 weeks along and have breezed thru each week without experiencing the common physical challenges that make this miraculous time less than the best ever for so many women.
There’s been no morning sickness, nausea, unhealthy or odd pickle cravings, constipation, back aches, mood swings, or other lame symptoms. Just in the past couple weeks am I starting to feel the flutters of life (light kicks, hiccups, and a bit of dancing) on a daily basis and today I felt consistent movement & then finally a whooping kick after my chiropractic appt! It’s as real as it gets! I’m due in March.
This picture was taken at approx 19 weeks and although it has taken quite a bit of courage to post publicly, I am choosing to do so. Because I haven’t been extremely distracted by the physical nature of pregnancy, I’ve been able to enjoy plenty of soul + reflective time. Pregnancy has been primarily an emotional and spiritual journey for me with beautiful truths revealed.
It’s been a tremendous inward journey, and one that has brought up a distinct opportunity to release feelings of being self-conscious in my growing body. I’ll talk way more about this in a future post; it’s a topic not often discussed during this pivotal time for women and I bet it’s a common feeling that arises for most. I didn’t expect it, but it came up for me and I had to face it straight on so I didn’t carry any stress in my physical body. So, here is my mostly naked body, and I’m damn proud of what it’s capable of (and how I look)!
HOW I FOUND OUT
Interestingly, I had a strong indifference to chocolate (even my own). Yikes! I know – me, right? It’s true… I was at the beach with a girl friend when she pulled out some chocolate bars and I just let them sit there… for hours. We had gone to the beach on the new moon in July to set intentions and enjoy some girl time – eating chocolate is obviously part of the ritual! I was sharing that I knew something suspicious was going on with my body.
I also was a bit repulsed by my lovely greeeeeen superfood salads and green juices. Come to find out that most women feel this way during the 1st trimester as the baby’s liver is not yet developed and cannot metabolize the bitter components in such green foods. These foods (green bitters & raw cacao) are medicinal, so it makes sense that it may be too much for some during the early days of pregnancy. The need for naps appeared as well, and that was when I really knew! I have a lot in common with the Energizer Bunny so for me to get tired during the day was so very unusual – and to nap? Yea, something was up.
I already had an appointment scheduled for a full spectrum blood panel to get outside perspective on my health at the end of July because I hadn’t done something like this in years. I asked for a pregnancy test and within 2 minutes my holistic ND came to me with a thumbs up and big smile! She’s said “Bethanne, you’re as pregnant as you can possibly get. You have extremely strong hormones – it’s not often I get to see this!”
I came to find out that even though I had been on the birth control pill for 10 years (lame), and have been off them for 12 years as of a few months ago, I had removed all that synthetic residue and truly balanced my hormones with my diet, supplement and lifestyle choices. Any fear of infertility was gone and I felt like I had healed my body in profound ways. Blessed!
She said I have zero chance for a miscarriage, that I was a model for a truly healthy pregnancy, and that I didn’t need to see her again… to just keep doing exactly as I have been. AHHH!! SO COOL – this was literally the BEST NEWS EVER! I found what works for me, stayed true to my fun, sexy + rewarding approach, and IT WORKED! Every choice I’ve made with regard to my wellness is now paying off more than even before. Please stay committed to your health journey – it’s so worth it!
This picture was taken at 20.5 weeks on a brief balcony break while exhibiting my handcrafted products at the Women’s Wellness Conference in LA.
PROCESSING THIS REALITY + ACCEPTING MY POWER AS A CO-CREATOR
I’ve spent the past 4.5 months relishing this sweet new reality relatively privately, sharing with those closest to me. If you are to ever get pregnant, I’d suggest taking this nurturing time to yourself – to see what arises for you, and to be in your own mind solidifying your faith in your own body (your body IS capable!), acceptance of this new path, and that you are an undeniable powerful co-creator in your reality.
Others mean well of course, but some people can have a tendency to offer unsolicited advice or stories that push fear onto a woman. It’s your job as a mama-to-be to do everything you can to block out anything that will negatively program your subconscious mind. Birth is an industry that makes a lot of money on these emotions, and it’s best if we are empowered beings that do not buy into it.
The beauty of what is happening often positively overwhelms me to tears. Instead of finding myself in moments of stress, worry, or anxiety over the birthing process or our future, I’m pretty much always relaxed and calm, and taken back by my life and what a riveting story it makes!
There’s a few private things that I’m called to share with you.
1) My due date is the day that my mom died, exactly 15 years ago.
2) We conceived within just a few days of the day that my dad died, 22 years ago.
These could be coincidences, sure – however if I believed in that then I’d still be a mess emotionally with self-destructive thought patterns because I wouldn’t be living with a foundation of faith (which I do). Instead, I choose to believe that these dates DO have some meaning – perhaps it is a reminder by the angels, my parents, and the Universe that I am guided more than I could imagine, that my parents know the beauty that’s unfolding for me, and that I am not alone – the latter being a feeling that I’ve struggled with since I lost my mom so long ago.
I believe in divine orchestration – that our lives are an absolute PERFECT symphony… the question is: are we truly aware of this cosmic force? There are so many experiences in my life that have taught me this perspective, when I (and you likely do too) have every reason to believe otherwise. But – we can choose our beliefs, and I choose an empowered way of living.
3) This baby will be the 1st full blood family I will have alive, since my gram passed 10 years ago. I didn’t think much of it, and then realized how comforting this feels, and how special and heart-warming it really is.
All this loss that has clouded my life experience over the years is finally being transcended at the deepest level. I deserve to be alive, even though every one in my family has had their life taken from them and I’m the only one left (aside from my half sister on the east coast).
I deserve to be alive, even though it felt like life was taken from me when it left others. This was a beautiful clear revelation – though not necessarily a new one, just an in my face kind of one – that I received on a recent walk (yes, I cried my heart out and am teary-eyed writing this).
I say that I “deserve” to be alive because after witnessing my mom suffer so in 2000-2001, and then take her last breaths, it impacted me deeply – obviously in that moment and in the coming years. I remember the day she died so clearly thinking – the sun is still shining, there’s still traffic, people are carrying on with their own business, and people have no idea the pain I feel, the agony I’m in, and that I am as frozen in overwhelm as my mom’s body felt once her spirit left it.
Who was I to run along smiling, laughing, playing, eating, talking, holding + admiring my sisters newborn baby, and breathing – when she didn’t have this chance anymore? Ugh, it hurt severely. I didn’t realize that I boxed up (and tucked away) a significant chunk of genuine child-like happiness because of this palpable experience.
I set my intention for this year to be for joy, happiness, ecstasy, and bliss – to reclaim my joy. I am actively removing the layers that have held me back from embodying it fully.
With time, and with deeeeeeep introspection and reflection, I recognized that I still somewhere felt this lack of expression of joy. Yes, I’m a happy positive girl, but I remember what it was like BEFORE my heart was torn apart multiple times. It’s time to let it go, and let the very experiences that represented death to me, actually be precisely what ultimately gives me life. HOW FUCKING PROFOUND!! Full circle.
Thank you for reading & celebrating with me! There’s TONS more to share, and I will. This is the new evolution of Edible Goddess and I’m super excited! Feel free to email me if you’d like to ask any questions and I’ll answer them as part of this new EG Pregnancy Series. A FULL blog post on my unconventional approach during pregnancy to food + supplements is coming next – so far that’s the #1 request!
I’m often asked to write more about love, relationships, and attracting your perfect match and will in an upcoming blog post. If you’ve been on this Edible Goddess journey with me for a few years, you know that I was in a very long-term (5+ years) incredible relationship with Christian Bates (genius formulator behind Longevity Power, my sister company).
Although I am quite transparent in writing about my life, I feel that the personal unfolding of one’s romantic life is their own. I intentionally did not share anything about us taking space and moving apart in 2014, on social media or anywhere else publicly. This was our beautiful evolving journey together, and not relevant to anyone other than us.
We are still business partners (yay!), the best of friends (YAY!), and super close – just a different dynamic than previously. He is sincerely happy for me and the person I am most connected to in this life other than my baby’s papa and divine soul love – my cherished partner, Mark.
Christian and I have a very healthy strong relationship and we’re both very content and at peace with where we are in our lives. Thank you for supporting us!
I want you to get to know Mark too as he’ll be an integral part of my business here forward (if you’re local to the SF Bay Area you’ll meet him at the local farmer’s markets vending my products!). Edible Goddess is a small family business, and I’m blessed to share it with you! He is a perfect reflection of me, the love of my life, and you better believe that the Universe guides you to exactly where you need to be. You may have experienced perceived loss as I have, but it is in YOUR HIGHEST. You must trust this 🙂 Thankfully, I did… and am here now to share this with you.