Perspective to Help You When Loved Ones Choose Suffering, or Death

A sweet soul emailed me this weekend sharing her heart-breaking story of loss. She’s lost nearly every single family member (like I have) – and LOTS of them – and desires to follow an ideal dietary approach to help her regain her health in all senses. 1 of her offspring has chosen to escape through hard-core drugs, and she feels at a loss, guilty, and deeply concerned. The bite-size version of what she said was, how do I just commit to being raw vegan, and get rid of the intense fear I have? She’s experiencing intense symptoms that trouble her as a result of these cumulative experiences. Her question, and story of some kind, is not uncommon for me to see in my email after one reads & relates to my story of tragedy here. I’m feeling called to share my response with you, in hopes that it reaches at least 1 person who can benefit from perspective from someone who has lived through extreme grief, loss, tumultuous times and come out very much ahead.


The main thing I’d like to share with you is that your answer is not in diet. It has nothing to do with being raw, raw vegan, or following a certain approach. It’s all in your mind – that’s where the healing is… I’m not trying to dismiss clean eating – it was critical and KEY for me as it brings about the kind of impeccable clarity of mind + perspective that I share here.

I used to suffer BIG TIME with anxiety, many many years ago – trying herbs, change of diet, all kinds of things to halt it, but nothing worked 100%. I soon started to ask myself what I feared the most, and recognized that I had a fear of stopping breathing. After witnessing 2 people very close to me stop breathing (my mom and grandma) – life taken right before my eyes, it crept into my subconscious and infiltrated my mind with absolute rigid fear of not breathing. WOW – knowledge is power .. and that was the beginning of a turn-around for me. Once you shine the light at the ROOT of your fear, the emotional cause, you stand in your power.

It aligned with much healthier dietary choices I made for myself – certainly not just food though: I incorporated adaptogens / tonic herbs to soothe my nervous system and to re-build resilience through and through.

What’s the worst thing that can happen? Death? Well, then I invite you to consider a shift in perspective as to what that means. I began listening to Abraham-Hicks religiously and it’s helped me immensely over the past 7-10 years. If you’re not familiar with this work, get on it now and dive in completely – around the clock. Do a search for Abraham-Hicks and death, and see what comes up on YouTube. 🙂 It has saved people from seriously going further down the rabbit hole of darkness…

Also – one HUGE lesson for me is to make peace with the paths that other people choose. All those that “chose” death – often seen as the easy way out for someone’s soul (and physical body in this lifetime) – that’s OKAY. It’s devastating to witness of course, but we have to respect that their spirit made a decision that THAT was MOST in alignment for them. It can take a lot of work to turn one’s health around and sometimes people succumb to diagnosis and accept it as truth, even though everything is reversible (often from within). Sometimes people do harm to themselves because they don’t see the sincere cosmic value in life. Hard to imagine, but it happens. This used to be my very own truth after losing my parents.

Sometimes these people are very close to us & their realty is confusing and frustrating. TRUST that they are being guided in some way (I certainly was, unknowingly). Speak with your angels to support and watch over your loved ones. Trust that everything happens in your highest good. Communicate clearly *without intense negative emotion* that you want these people alive and well, and ask what you can do to help them. Prepare for anything… they may want space, to run from their life, or time to work it out on their own.

So, my answer is not that you have to be fully raw or raw vegan as you may think – it IS supportive on some level, just remember that this doesn’t mean you don’t have fears, have worked through your personal internal issues, or are as developed emotionally (with experience) as others may think you are. It’s food – a catalyst for growth – ideally which spurs a transformation mentally and spiritually that actually supports life, happiness, health, and everything else.

Believe it or not, you’re not the first to write me something like this .. Remember, you’re not alone. Countless people have been on this path before you, survived, and thrived because of it. Do everything in your human being power to take exceptional care of you, because ultimately this is really all we have control over, and can do.

1 last thing – our greatest tragedies have the potential to become our most grand opportunities. REALLY. Blessings in disguise!! It’s no joke or silly quote to pass along. Everything is a matter of perspective. Yes, you’ve lost basically everyone. But I personally believe that you would not have been given these gifts if you could not handle them. Seriously – not everyone gets this serving platter dished up to them .. I’ve wondered WHY?? Why me then? So much time to think about it.

What I’ve come up with, and what kind people close to me have shared, is that it’s because I have a strength that is undeniable, uncommon, and indestructible. Just when you think you’re destroyed, cannot get through anything else, and your desire to keep on living is nearly empty – some light keeps you going. You don’t give up. That is sincere strength, and given to those who are who meant to be here to radiate their message of hope to others. Not with negativity or re-hashing old stories, but by showing what’s possible. Anything & everything is possible!!!!!!!!

Support your lungs in any way that you can. The lungs are associated with grief. Cordyceps mushroom is very specific to the lungs, and therefore grief. It’s in a few of my products and you can look online for the other incredible benefits. Focus on your lungs – energetically. Release the trauma held there, thank them for giving you life, for remaining perseverent even through it all.

Food nourishes you. The right kinds of food can accelerate the process of physical healing which then translates into emotional healing. Just don’t rely on food as what will help you most. Use it as a TOOL to continue to reveal the highest expression of you. It’s an evolving journey anyway, and your needs / preferences / circumstances will change, and therefore so will your food choices. Be open, commit to real food, and begin to believe in yourself as the answer for everything. This belief feeds self value and self worth, and these are the criteria by which we all lead our lives and make the choices we do.


To bring greater clarity on why I say “choose suffering” – this is my personal opinion. I feel that our spirit, our soul, holds great power and acts accordingly. I do not feel that we are victims in life, or to the experiences in life, but that on some higher level we have chosen opportunities to challenge us that will bring about personal evolution and expansion. I am not disregarding suffering, I know it close to my heart, and have chosen to hold the viewpoint I share. It feels good to me! I don’t believe we’re ever helpless, or without power.

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About Bethanne Wanamaker

Bethanne Wanamaker is a certified holistic nutritionist, conscious living expert, and the founder of Edible Goddess, an international health & lifestyle brand that cares deeply about your empowerment. She teaches progressive strategies that awaken you to your highest potential by following the body's inherent wisdom and aligning with an intentional mindset, holistic approach, self nourishing practices, and high self value. Bethanne advocates gradual yet significant shifts of upgraded dietary choices that ultimately lead you to the freedom and confidence of eating intuitively. By living in harmony with nature, you can have what you want. She is known for getting results quickly with committed clients who want to live a wildly rewarding, super fun, truly healthy and happy life!