My blog, way back in 2008 when I first started writing, was more like an online journal where I expressed my opinions more boldly, shared critical information about the world to help awaken others, with education and lots of excitement for my superfoodie lifestyle that I had been immersed in for several years. Then it shifted to write more recipes, and more recently my inspiration to share recipe after recipe is not present.
It’s everywhere – so easy to just hop online and everyone is doing it. I’ve written ebooks, and my 2 most popular ones – Superfood Beauty Elixirs and Chocolate Superfood Desserts are an on-going contribution that stays in place whether I add new recipes to my website on the regular or not. I’ve put them all on sale for just $5.
I share this with you because I’ve been in deep contemplation – more than ever before in my life (shocking! haha) ever since my radiant little girl was born this spring. With each season comes change – often a shift in perspective, how we do things, habits, and even a realignment with goals that we decide to take action on.
My thoughts have ranged to both extremes: giving everything I can into education, empowering and creating online support / programs for mamas to be, all the way thru pregnancy and definitely into postpartum… and, also a desire to just cocoon it up, and go more off the radar. Both of these feels out of comfort, and desire. They’re just ideas that have come through in passing, as I revel in these early days of being a new mom. I’ve removed many items from my online store, fired my shipping warehouse due to mistakes that kept being made, and spent the earlier part of this year offering my products at local farmer’s markets, which was awesome!
I’ve also picked up a bit of personal chef work in Marin County for busy entrepreneurs, and mamas looking to get pregnant (or already are). And, I’ve continued my coaching practice and am wanting this to be the heart & center of my business right now, as the products have a large overhead with expenses, and a whole lot of me needs to show up in a way that I’m not interested in right now. I THANK YOU for continuing to purchase my herbal beauty elixir tonics and superfoods chocolates; I am the one personally shipping everything 🙂
What was somewhat shocking to me, was just how PRESENT and full on I instinctively became after Ella Pearl’s birth. Clarity came in like a storm: I don’t want someone else raising my daughter. I do not want to put her into another person’s hands for the day. I do not want to miss anything. I’m super clear on this now, whereas before birth, I did not know what kind of mama I would be. Would I still spend my days with business related activities and be a mom at night (I knew that wasn’t for me) or would I intermingle them, working from home? This is what resonates, just doing less of it than I expected! I want to see this new life unfold, rejoice in it all, grow our bond forevermore because of this initial attached time we share, and just be with it.
For the first time really ever, by choice, I am simplifying and slowing down a lot – especially with the energy of putting things out there in the online world – but I have strong opinions and things that need to be heard, so the time is coming where it will all go live. I’ve spent years with my hands in many different projects, companies, opportunities, etc. Again, I’ll speak it up to the Universe and meditate in the rain on this one: I desire more leverage so I can be comfortable at home, with my darling Reishi baby, and not running around overworked like I used to. I’ll go into greater detail about what I’m specializing in, in the next blog. ♥
These past 7.5 months have given me the gift I did not, and maybe would not ever gift myself: releasing things / online courses / connections / work that my heart was not fully in. It’s like the excess is shaking away, whether I think I intended for it to be this way or not. I have a lower tolerance for things that bother me. Any other new mamas feel that way?!
I haven’t written here on my blog in so long, and to everyone who misses it, I’m sorry! I’ve been super focused, doing everything I can to not be a distracted parent always on my phone or laptop. For most of our time having a little baby, we have slept relatively well. There have been moments (those early weeks especially) and more recently where sleep is incredibly disrupted. Recently it’s been due to Ella Pearl waking up in the middle of the night wanting to play – she’s smiling, happy, and wants to practice going from laying flat, to sitting and rolling up to standing! It’s SO cute and the sweetest ever, just a bit frustrating at 1-5am though 😉
It’s tough when you’re in it, and you need to get through the day supercharged full of energy and clarity, despite not feeling restored. It all goes in phases and soon I will miss it! Also – just thinking to mention here that Mark and I co-sleep, so there are no cribs or baby rooms in our home. Does this make things “harder”? Well, some say so. But again, I wouldn’t trade it for anything and some of the most special private moments in all of existence are us cudding in the night, nursing, her holding my hand, fingers or face, and just BEING IN LOVE.
I’ve found it to be an interesting dance that when my girl naps, I have a series of things I want / need to do – writing (my life-long passion!) being 1 of them, though my mind may not be firing on all cylinders with profound clarity, and so I skip it. I have posted a lot on social media – both Facebook and Instagram – and am so grateful to have my conscious community there and the fellow families to witness and learn from! Maybe it’s just that I feel like I’ve been on the down-low, and it’s actually nice – I am witness to others push, try so hard (selling, doing, being assertive), and go go go, and I stand back, something that is a lesson my spirit, body, and mind needed!
1 of my most favorite mentors is Seth Godin, and he blogs everyday without fail. I so want to do this! I laugh at the idea though, at least for now, as I know this slowed time is a GIFT. It’s not something most women get to experience EVER – which is why there’s this feeling of resistance. But it’s good for me, amazing for my daughter, and wonderful for papa. Just know that I want to contribute to this space where I used to teach and inspire much more consistently. My desires to serve you, and myself at the same time, are infinite!
Now, I’d like to hear from you! What are your reflections with this change of season? Are you letting anything go that clears space for you (energetically, or literally)? Do you want to do something but you intuitively sense it’s not the right timing, and are you at peace with that? Thanks so much for being here with me today, and for all your beautiful messages. I read them all! ♥